The Ionian July 2012

July 2012 www.theionian.com The Ionian 1

The Ionian July 2012 Volume 3. Issue 5 www.theionian.com COMPLIMENTARY/

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The art of keeping cool

Page 5

An Olympic day out

Page 6

Nibbles in Nidri Page 11

Handyman in paradise

Page 12

Berth of a best-seller

Bill and Laurel Cooper talk to The Ionian

Page 8

2 The Ionian www.theionian.com July 2012


Keeping Cool In Greece, you can easily tell the locals from the visitors. Theyre the ones wearing jeans and long sleeves in summer - as in this months cover photo

by Lies vant Net. The rest of us have been trying to keep cool as much as possible by taking dips in the sea, seeking shade, and even hanging in a hammock in the breeze under a couple of trees (the new branch office of The Ionians publisher) to cope with a heat wave.

In her article, The art of keeping cool on page 5 of this issue, Barbara de Machula gives a few timely tips on how to do just that, including a novel use for the often under-rated wet rag. With temperatures here well into sweltering, plus the final of the Euro 2012 soccer set for July 1st, and the 2012 Olympics in London following a few weeks later, this promises to be a month when re-maining calm may not seem an option.

But Bill and Laurel Cooper managed it time and again during 36 years of sailing adventures, many of their exploits recounted in their best-seller Sell Up and Sail. In Berth of a best-seller on page 8, the first of three articles for which they have spoken to The Ionian, they tell our Editor Martin Stote how they wrote much of the book in the Ionian, which remains one of their favourite cruising grounds.

Robin Lamb also managed to keep his cool, if not his appetite, when he found the heads on his yacht Sundowner blocked. In Handyman in paradise on page 12, he tells us how he dealt with the problem quietly, methodically, and with only a passing attack of nausea.

Plato Chipzs appetite is legendary, and as undiminished as ever as he and Old Wheezy fall upon another defenceless meal, this time at JDs Bistro in Nidri. See his review, Nibbles in Nidri on page 11.

Paradoxically, Rosanne Hodin found shade beneath the olive trees, and was struck by the air of peace and tranquillity when she visited the origi-nal site of the Olympics near Katakolon on the Peloponnese. She de-scribes her visit in An Olympic Day out on page 6.

Enjoy reading... ~~~_/) Barbara Molin

The Ionian

Cover Photo: Fisherman in Vonitsa. Photo by Lies vant Net. To purchase any of our pho-tos or to submit your own for cover shot con-sideration, please email us at: [email protected] Enter our annual calen-dar photo competition. For more information check our website at: www.theionian.com

Contact us: Email: [email protected] Website: www.theionian.com

Founding Publisher: Justin Smith Publisher: Barbara Molin Managing Editor: Barbara Molin Editor Martin Stote Business Advisor: Yannis Dimopoulos Business Advisor: Ryan Smith Greek Editors: V. Gigi and V. Lekkas Layout: Barbara Molin Printing: Graphic Arts Advertising: Colleen Shears Kim Davies Subscriptions: Barbara Molin

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The Ionian is published monthly. Published on the last day before each month, approximately. Publication is for informational purposes only. Although The Ionian has made every effort to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in this publication, the publisher cannot be held responsible for any errors or omissions it may contain. The opinions expressed by the contributors are not necessarily held by the publisher. Published in Canada.


It has been a hot spring. Summer stole the winter like a quick thief in the night. My first painting student had to endure a lot of rain, cold nights, and we even had to heat the stove a few evenings, not so long ago. And then suddenly, summer kicked in, and all the blankets had to go, we had to use the fan, and making ice tea became a daily chore. Heat was here! The plants burst into flowers and fruit, and

swimming in the sea was a sure way to cool down. And the temperature was matched by the political discussions in the taverna, which were getting everyone very hot under the collar.

Now that the elections are behind us, we hope that the European demands will ease up and allow us to cool down a bit, and maybe even give a little breathing space so we can rethink our ideas on how to tackle the crisis. Meanwhile, I would like to share a few tricks on how to keep your cool on a hot day.

A delightful place to visit is the wells of Korpi in the mountains near Preveza. You may already be familiar with the blue bottles which you can buy, containing crystal clear water. If you visit the wells, you can fill up your bottles for free with that same water. The wells are on the mainland near the village of Vonitsa. From there you go down to Palairos, turn left to Monastiraki and follow the sign that says Nestle Hellas.

You will see the water factory where all the water is bottled, but if you continue to follow the road, turn left by the church and drive down to a nearly abandoned village, which is now only visited by people filling up their water tanks. The remnants of a once lively spa and health resort are still visible, little cabins where people once stayed to enjoy periods of healing and recovery with Korpi water treatment.

There are many of these cabins, and you can imagine that in the old days this must have been a busy place. The water is cool and refreshing, it is lovely to feel the little chilly stream trickle between your toes. There are only a few people around, and much of the time you will be on your own there. The water flows down from the mountains when the winter snow melts. Slowly it seeps through the stones, where it is filtered and mineralized. The water eventually flows down to a big lake at the feet of the Korpi valley.

Another cool place is the waterfall near Nidri on the island of Lefkada. This is visited by more tourists, but that eerie, magical green pool is certainly refreshing. It used to be the home of many green frogs, on a quiet day when walking along the path to the waterfall you can hear them performing a concert that deafens your ears. There is a footpath leading up to the spacious natural gallery deep in the rocks and luscious green fronds hang down from the walls. There are some rare birds, but you can spot them only on very quiet days. It is certainly a good idea to take a dip in the green pool, the water is quite chilly and pretty clear.

If you are not too keen on taking trips in the hot weather, and you

want to stay as close to the fridge as possible, try putting a wet cloth in front of the fan. You will feel the air become much cooler than usual, evaporating water cools the towel and that air will become a nice cool breeze. Wet the cloth regularly and you have your own air conditioner. Talking about the fridge, in the morning I put several water or ice tea bottles in the freezer and when it gets really hot I enjoy my melted ice drinks to cool me down. My new puppy gets a dip with his paws in cold water to cool him down, and of course fresh water to drink, but not chilled. To conclude my cold tips, here is a recipe I love:

Jamies 30 Minute Meals is published by Michael Joseph, Penguin, priced 26.00. Available at all good bookstores. Barbara de Machula is keeping cool in her garden on a mountain near Palairos. She is an artist, originally from Amsterdam.

www.paintingholidaygreece.com

The art of keeping cool

Barbara de Machula

Nidri Falls Julie Farren

Filing up at Korpi springs

Jamie Olivers yummy drink found in 30 Minute Meals.

Lemon Ginger drink Ice cubes 1 x 330ml can of fizzy lemonade a few sprigs of fresh mint a 2cm piece of fresh ginger 1 bottle of sparkling water

Instructions: Fill a large jug halfway with ice. Add the lemonade and mint sprigs. Peel and finely grate in 2cm of ginger. Top up with sparkling water, mix with wooden spoon and take to the table.


It could only happen in the UK. The London 2012 Olympics start on July 27th, and Danny Boyle, the director of the opening ceremony, has promised synthetic rain clouds to remind the crowds of Britains famously perverse weather, just in case it doesnt rain for real. After all, it rained in the UK during the Diamond Jubilee weekend. But Rosanne Hodin got the best of both worlds. She visited the original site in the sunny Peloponnese.

Be there early to avoid the huge crowds.

That was the advice we got from everyone. The Ionian pilot book gave the helpful suggestion that as Olympia would have been thronged with eager crowds in the fifth century BC, one should

not feel bothered by them now. We had arrived in our own boat and moored

on the quay at Katakolon. From here one can either hire a car, or take a taxi to nearby Pirgos and then board one of the frequent buses. There is a train going directly to Olympia, but that is for the exclusive use of passengers from the cruise liners.

We hired a car to share with friends but even so maybe we were not going to be there that early. Along the quay where we were moored, a large cruise liner was docked, and eleven coaches parked nearby to carry whoever wanted to join us at Olympia.

As we arrived, a helicopter was circling overhead, police cars had set up a road block,

and a large crowd gathered on the road ahead. Surely this wasn't right? It seems that we had stumbled on a national cycling event, a race from Olympia to wherever, with a very generous assembly of supporters. And off they went...

Once we were past the ticket office, a huge mantle of calm settled over us. There were groups of visitors who were attached to a guide and were herded from one site to the next, but we were as free as thistledown to go where we

pleased, and for most of our four-hour visit we were alone. It's a huge site, with olive trees growing through the tumbled stones, and shade, lizards and wild flowers everywhere. It is extraordinary that the site was only found and excavated in 1875. Imagine the search and then the discovery of the first of the remains, found under six meters of alluvial mud. It was extraordinary too to be walking in the very place of the first Olympic flame as the 2012 flame was being relayed around Britain. The monuments range in antiquity over multiple centuries, and the earliest occupation was a Bronze Age encampment on the hillside of Mt. Kronos. The site was believed to be a sacred grove, rich in spirit life. The

archaeologists have found round-ended stone huts which are thought to be the earliest monuments, but the first of the temple remains is a beautiful rectangular temple to Hera, from 600BC, and one of the earliest Doric temples in Greece. As well as featuring a statue of Hera it would have housed statues of significant women. Strange, considering the site was only accessible to men. The largest of the

An Olympic day out

Rosanne Hodin

The Altis, the sacred Grove

Olympic Staddium seatig 45,000 male only spectators

Head and shoulders probably of Poppea Sabina 2nd wife of Nero 480 BC

The monuments range in antiquity over multiple

centuries, and the earliest occupation was a Bronze Age encampment on the hillside of Mt. Kronos. The site was

believed to be a sacred grove, rich in spirit life.

The temple of Zeus, fallen columns


temples is of course to Zeus and the vast pillars lie as they would have fallen during one of the two earthquakes believed to have ravaged the site. The sanctuary gradually fell into disuse after the Christianisation of the area, when pagan rites were abandoned or suppressed.

Games and worship went hand in hand at Olympia and in its later heyday they were separated on the site. The athletes and their supporters were given accommodation and practice areas and luxurious thermal bath systems. The access to the stadium for the competitors was through a dramatic tunnel, from which, presumably, they made a spectacular entrance.

We sat on the grassy slope of the stadium, designed to seat 45,000 spectators. The view is fantastic now and would have been then.

It is wonderful to think that honour and glory were the prize, both for the winner and for his city state. This was not a games driven by commercial interest. There was no prize money. There were sixteen little pedestals where those who had cheated had made apologetic statues of Zeus, presumably to appease the Gods, who would have been offended by such an insult.

We wandered peacefully and in awe. The place still feels magical, still seems a sacred grove. It was quiet. It was serene. We were overcome by the conundrum of trying to make sense of these random stones.

In the museum, the treasures found on site were displayed, lit simply and to the utmost effect. Having seen the temples, it was quite possible to imagine these statues, votive offerings, and vases all in their original

positions. Part of the ceremonial process involved

extraordinary, free-standing containers like baptismal fonts decorated with lion heads or gaping griffons.

We saw exquisite glass flasks from a nearby tomb, pale azure in colour, and some flawless. Not visible was the huge chryselephantine statue of Zeus designed by Pheidias.

Chryselephantine statues were usually larger than life, built around a wooden frame, covered with thin carved slabs of ivory to represent the flesh, and sheets of gold leaf for the garments. Pheidias went on to design the Parthenon.

But the statue of Zeus was seized by conquering Turks and transported to Istanbul where it was destroyed by fire. This statue would have dominated the temple of Zeus, and was so vast and impressive that it would have left those who saw it filled with awe. We didnt see it. But we were still talking about Olympia twenty four hours later.

Michael and Rosanne Hodin sailed from Plymouth in 2010 on their Dufour Classic 41 yacht Ethel. They spent 2011 happily cruising the Ionian. This year they hope to go round the Peleponnese and return to Preveza via the Corinth Canal. Photos by Mary Ashworth unless otherwise noted.

Lions and stag, handle of the lid of a votive cauldron

Columns from the Philippeon, completed by Alexander the Great

Hermes bearing the infant Dionyseus by Praxiteles Julie Farren

Olympic stadium entrance J. Farren


Anyone moored up in Port Vathi on Meganisi in the summer of 1985 may have seen a petite, sun-tanned woman, looking much younger than her 56 years, sat on the spacious stern deck of an impressive 50 ft steel ketch pounding away furiously on a battered old portable typewriter.

The woman was Laurel Cooper, and the yacht was Fare Well, in which nine years earlier she and her husband Bill had sailed from the UK, having decided to sell their beautiful six-bedroomed home, a converted Georgian coaching inn on the banks of the Medway at Maidstone, Kent, in the UK, quit the rat race, and spend the rest of their lives like a modern-day Odysseus.

Which is a clue to the title of the book they were writing. Sell Up and Sail, first published in 1986, became a bestseller, and has run to five editions. It has sold over 25,000 copies in the UK, been published in a translated edition in Sweden, and in the USA by Sheridan House. It is commonly dubbed the bible for live-aboard sailors, although that suggests a gravitas and a worthiness which does not capture its sometimes irreverent, lively and seditious tone.

When they first decided to sell up and sail, Bill was a shoe-in for the maritime adventures ahead. He was a former Lieutenant Commander in the Royal Navy, a professional navigator, a restless and adventurous spirit turned City gilts broker who was frustrated by his commuters lifestyle working as a financial advisor to the Harold Wilson government. One day he had a Reggie Perrin moment, and instead of boarding the train to London, returned home and told Laurel that he was going to finish Fare Well, the hull of which had been professionally constructed, but which he had been fitting out at the bottom of the garden, and cut loose.

Laurel, then a magistrate and art teacher, was a less likely candidate. I was entrenched in a comfortable little life and saw no reason to abandon it in order to get wet, cold, and seasick away from my books, cats and children, she wrote later in their book. She had sailed on the Broads, and had one four week cruise with Bill

in the Med under her belt. She also suffered with a congenital and painful hip problem. In preparation, she learned navigation at a sailing school in Cowes and accompanied friends on coastal and cross Channel sorties. But when the moment came, she shared Bills excitement.

A burden rolled off my shoulders that I had never been aware of, she wrote in their book. I smelt the sea, saw the first of many ocean sunsets, and felt a freedom I had never known before. And she told The Ionian, Our income was a tenth of what it had been but we were ten times as happy.

Sell Up and Sail has made them, if not a household name, certainly a name known to most sailing families. The sub title is, Pursue

the Dream, and indeed Bill wrote in the first chapter of the book, ...it is a romantic dream that has the chance of coming true... But the chapter concludes, Dreams can become a reality. It is hard work, rather than magic that gets it done.

And that is the key to the books huge appeal. It is not a manual for lotus eaters. It is an immensely practical, no-nonsense, pragmatic, wry and humorous guide on how to survive and enjoy a life like theirs, packed from cover to cover with information and advice from the fundamental Can I afford it? Am I the right sort of person? What sort of boat would serve best? to the minutiae of domestic tips. In Greece, every household keeps a pot of basil to keep the flies away. This is the little-leafed basil, not the one with the large leaves grown in Italy to go with tomatoes.

It tells how since leaving the UK 36 years

ago they have enjoyed the unorthodox, free-spirited, but sometimes hazardous life of the long-distance live-aboarder, sailing nearly 100,000 miles - the equivalent of four circumnavigations visiting 45 different countries, including the eastern seaboard of the USA, the Caribbean, and most of the Mediterranean. They survived the worst perils the cruel sea could throw at them, most famously, the 100 mph Hurricane Alberta which hit them 200 miles out from Bermuda in 1982. They literally battened down the hatches as the sea foamed around them, at one point rolling Fare Well right over. When the worst was over, Bill ventured on deck, only to be struck by lightning. Not unreasonably, his hair stood on end.

The couple were later awarded a Royal Naval Sailing Association medal for seamanship. And in March of this year Yachting Monthly included them in a feature on the magazines top 25 cruising heroes, which also saluted the Hiscocks, Maurice Griffiths, and Robin Knox-Johnson. For all their sea miles, the Coopers admit, rather touchingly, My goodness, that was a surprise. We were so chuffed. During those years they have

been frequent visitors to the Ionian, which remains one of their favourite sailing grounds. In this, the first of three articles for which they have spoken to The Ionian magazine, they explain why they love the area and how the islands have changed since they first arrived in Argostoli on Cephalonia in 1977.

In the second article, in next months issue, they recall how Laurel was badly burned in a cooking accident on deck in Liyia, on the mainland just north of Igoumenitsa, a frightening squall in 2003 in Vliho Bay

Fare Well, Kassiopi, Corfu 1977

Berth of a best-seller

Martin Stote

I was entrenched in a comfortable little life and saw no reason to abandon it in order to get wet, cold, and seasick away

from my books, cats and children...

Writing Sell up and sail - Meganisi Autumn 85


reminiscent of last years hurricane force blow, their sometimes uneasy relationship with flotillas, and how their second boat Hosanna, an 87 ft Dutch barge, ran aground in the Lefkas Canal in April 2003, where it remained stuck for 24 days. They also break a personal rule and reveal two of their favourite and most secluded anchorages.

In the third, to be published in September, they tell of memorable barbecues in Abeliki Bay on Meganisi, pot luck suppers with other Ionian live-aboarders while wintering in Lefkas, and why old age has finally forced them to return to the UK and settle down on a permanent mooring in Rochester, Kent. They are both now 83 years old.

The Coopers set sail from Lowestoft in 1976 with their one-eyed cat Nelson, heading initially for Gibralter. They continued on around the Mediterranean, and spent their second winter afloat, in 1977/8, mainly in Corfu. Gouvia Marina was then only half-finished and free, said Laurel.

She continued, Most of Sell Up and Sail was written in Port Vathi, Meganisi. We wrote it together. Bill was very good on boats and the technicalities, and I concentrated on the human aspect and psychology. Then we each edited the others stuff, improved the style, and agreed the finished paragraphs. The title was a joint effort which just cropped up in an editing conference with our original publishers, Stanford Maritime

When we were writing in Port Vathi, we were moored up off the beach, within ten metres of the cafe come taverna Akra Yialos, run by our dear friend Bissarion. It was just a seashore then, with trees, not the concrete quay it is now. Bissarion would go fishing early in

the morning, and seeing one or the other of us pounding away on an old portable typewriter would stomp up our gangway with a plate of octopus, saying You working so hard.

In the photograph you can see that Fare Well is dressed overall because its St Bissarions day. We were privileged to be his friend as he didnt like tourists. He sold only coffee and wine, and if he was pestered for whisky and coca cola and other unobtainables he would ensure that if they DID sit on his rickety chairs they got a glass with a fly in it. Sadly, he died many years ago. He wasnt gregarious, like our other friend Stefan of The Rose Garden, though

they were both ex merchant seaman, as nearly all Meganisi men were in those days.

Bill said, We remember several Easters in different parts of Greece, but at least three were in the Ionian. We remember Bissarion making kokkoretsi - lamb or goat offal on a skewer, wound around with the intestines - for Easter morning. Everyone was very hospitable, we got red eggs, kokkoretsi, and huge plates of lamb.

Of course, all this is after that magical moment on Easter Eve when all is dark, then the candle is lit, and the light passes from hand to hand, CHRISTOS ANESTI! And everyone spills out of the church into the road, street lights and house lights go on, and we all try to get the candle home, still lit, to make the smoky cross beside the door.

Laurel added, We loved the Ionian from the moment we first arrived in Argostoli in south western Cephalonia in July 1977. Bill had been there in 1953 as Navigating Officer of HMS Childers, a destroyer helping with the earthquake in Ithaca, but he never got ashore.

The islands enjoy sheltered waters, barring the odd squalls, short distances between the islands, a lovely climate, hospitable and unpretentious people. There are countless other reasons why we love them. Islands are best because the people have a self-sufficient attitude of mind, there is always someone who can do what you want or get what you need.

Also in 1977 we attended the second Folk Festival in Lefkas, which was hilariously anarchic. The stage in the Platia was like a boxing ring, about two metres high with seats all round it. When the Highlanders danced they revealed all under their kilts, and the cheering audience could be heard as far as Meganisi.

We remember visiting Petriti on the east coast of Corfu while it was still just a short quay, and eating at a taverna on the beach with our feet in the sea under the table. The cabaret was a randy cockerel chasing several hens amongst the diners. Later the 18/30 Club ruined it for a while, but hey, everything passes.

Bill said, When we came to the Ionian in 1977 almost no shops had glass windows, traffic lights were unknown, tavernas and most streets had earth floors with chickens browsing around your feet, and interesting kitchens. Telephone calls abroad were made in Giorgios garden at Kondokali Bay in Corfu with a kilo of

small change. You couldnt get lettuces, mushrooms, or mayonnaise, and no fresh milk, but tzicken and tzips and a bottle of wine for two cost less than fifty drachma, about a pound in those days.

I fear there are now too many foreigners for the old xenofilia to hold sway, especially after the hippies took such shocking advantage of it. Brussels regulations have changed the kitchens beyond recognition, but mercifully not ruined the food, though we find it has become more Europeanised. Its more difficult to find kokkoretsi, for example, or a nice row of goats heads on the spit!

Pictures supplied by and used with kind permission of Bill and Laurel Cooper and Adlard Coles Nautical.

Sell Up and Sail (ISBN 9780713674033) is available, priced 19.99, from Adlard Coles Nautical at www.adlardcoles.com , from all good bookshops, and from Amazon.

Their other books are, Watersteps through France; Watersteps around Europe; Sail into the Sunset; A Spell in Wild France; Back Door to Byzantium; Sell Up and Cruise the Inland Waters. Those which are out of print may be available second hand via Amazon.

The link to the Adlard Coles Nautical books home page is:

http://www.acblack.com/nautical/Sell-Up--Sail/Bill-Cooper-Laurel-Cooper/books/details/9780713674033

The Adlard Coles Nautical 2012 brochure, carrying details of their many maritime books and how to order them, is available from www.adlardcoles.com Martin Stote , a retired Daily Express journalist, owns with his wife a share in a syndicate yacht in the Ionian. Although he can claim with all honesty to have sailed since he was a boy, that autobiographical snippet doesnt convey how much of his life has actually been spent on dry land. He first read Sell Up and Sail about 20 years ago and has owned two editions of the book. Writing these features was really just an excuse to talk to two of his sailing heroes. Martin is The Ionians Editor.

Coopers with Hosanna, Lefkas Marina, Spring 2005

Bill and Laurels first cruise

Bissarion making kokkoretsi for Easter breakfast 1985


TO 12,950


Well, here we are once again, and I can tell from the amount of fan mail that Barbara, our brilliant managing editor, has received for me that I have been sadly missed - by passing cars, mostly. Anyway, I hope you all had a good winter. Mine was rather busy as Old Wheezy needed a good service, but now with her bottom scraped and anti-fouled and clutching Rosemary Connollys Hip & Thigh diet to her bosom, were all set for another gastronomic Ionian extravaganza, or, as we say, a selection of Greek salads.

The enduring memory of being at anchor in Vliho bay will always be Sunday mornings, just after the sun has cast its glorious cloak across the bay, as fish stretch and yawn and old men get out of bed for the third time. It is then the Greek priest shares his various

bilious groans with the world via a speaker system worthy of Pink Floyd.

As a counterpoint to these hymns, an obvious non-believer joins in from a nearby house, banging out his own message on a fifty gallon drum with a Greek spanner. They are then accompanied by the strummer section from

around the bay; a lone chain saw joins the cacophony, punctuated by the odd blast from a shotgun. (We dont own a gun but appreciate the sentiment). This avant garde dawn chorus challenges the untrained ear, brings tears to ones eyes and an overwhelming urge to fire up the RIB and head for

Nidri in search of breakfast. J Ds Bistro is a place to visit at any time,

especially if you want a VERY good English breakfast, in which case ask for a "full house" if you feel a bit peckish. Jackie and Chris

always make you feel welcome and have a good range of food, from tikka masala to steak and ale pie, plus various Greek dishes and a Sunday roast.

There is a childrens menu and a table dhote menu. Guinness and Strongbow are among the drinks available. There is also a good range of puddings. Many places use the term, home made, but here it really is, using good local produce. Tuesday night at 9pm is quiz night, not to be missed.

J Ds is in the top two or three of Nidri's restaurants on my good food, good service and good value chart. If you choose to sit outside you will enjoy the wonderful spectacle that is truly Greeknamely, how much and how diverse a range of people and objects can be carried on a moped. Remember the game Double or Drop on the TV show Crackerjack? My favourite so far is a man with twenty feet of drainpipe under one arm, a telephone, and a cigarette, clutching a small child eating ice cream. For further entertainment you can watch holiday makers occasionally thump the cash point opposite. Which reminds me, I must wash and iron those old drachmas. Bon Appetit.

JDs Bistro owned by Jaki Daniel, is located in Nidri, Lefkada Island on the main street opposite the Emporiki ATM. Tel: 697 030 8892. e-mail: [email protected] www. jdsbistro.co.uk

Nibbles in Nidri Plato Chipz

Review


The heads (yacht toilet in boat speak) seized up on the last day of our son Davids stay with us. We blamed his partner Debbie for the problem it seemed the charitable thing to do. Helen took them to Preveza to catch their plane home while, with Sundowner cleared of people, I took the opportunity to check out the problem.

The pump would not pump water into the toilet. It appeared to be jammed solid as if something had

jammed up the mechanism. I took it to bits. I studied the rubber flaps, metal discs, plastic passageways, and levers and tried to work out how the smelly contrivance worked. I could see no reason why it shouldnt work. I fiddled with

it, cleaned it, put it carefully back together again. It still didnt work but I was getting a bit of action on the flush cycle and, with the dribble of water, black flecks came into the bowl. Among the other disgusting odours was the distinct smell of dead fish.

I undid the flexible seawater inlet pipe that connects the seacock to the pump. I peered down it and there staring up at me was a fish. It had been pumped up the seawater inlet and was now jammed fast in the tube. It had been there for quite some time and, judging by the smell, it was very dead. Further, the frantic pumping had subjected it to a near vacuum giving it a curious bug-eyed appearance. There was nothing else for it. I gingerly put the pipe to my lips and blew until I heard air bubbles coming out of the far end. I peered down the pipe and could see

the fish no longer. I had given it a burial at sea. I tried ineffectively to wipe the smell of dead fish from my mouth. It clung on. I reconnected the inlet pipe to the toilet. It worked for a few pumps then jammed. I disconnected the pipe again. The fish was back, sucked up by the pump and staring at me accusingly. I had blown it out of sight but not out of the tube. I blew down the tube again and this time I continued to blow for quite a while after I heard bubbles coming out of the outlet. My ears popped with the effort. I peered down the tube recoiling slightly from the overpowering whiff of decomposing fish. I optimistically reconnected pipe to pump. No joy. The pump still jammed up. I started a further cycle of decoupling the pipe, blowing down it, then reconnecting it and pumping it. Eventually the fish started to fall to bits and the pump was able to draw it near enough to the end of the tube for me to extract it with a long thin screwdriver. By now I felt that I had spent half an hour giving the kiss of life to a deceased haddock. I showered, and brushed my teeth. The smell seemed to be hanging on.

I rewashed my face, re-brushed my teeth, gargled with TCP, drank some of it, took the last cans of beer out of the fridge, drank them in virtually one swallow, and laid down in a darkened cabin to recover.

Five minutes later Helen clambered on board. What are you doing in there on a nice day like this? she asked me.

Im recovering from the mental and physical stress of sorting out the heads, I replied.

Dont be so wet. Ive got something nice for dinner. Guess what.

Oh I dont feel that hungry. Dont be silly. You will when you see it.

There was a big fishing boat in at Lefkas Oh no. I groaned. Yes there was. He had some beautiful fish so

thats what weve got for dinner.

Handyman in paradise

Robin Lamb

There is nothing better than sailing in paradise but as Robin Lamb found out on Sundowner,

there is a dark side to this fantasy...


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FOSTER AND PERMANENT HOMES NEEDED URGENTLY FOR STRAY DOGS, PLEASE CALL

LEFKAS ANIMAL WELFARE SOCIETY (L.A.W.S.) IF YOU CAN HELP: 697 851 0671

The Ionian July 2012

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